Lord Andrew: Good heavens, man! I rogered an entire room of ladies in the preceding chapter – as much as I’d like to be rogering ladies every second, sometimes I do have to make space for my other talents: namely adventuring and mystery-solving!

Mr. L, I shall allow Botter to test any beverages prepared for me, just in case. That way, if it is poisoned, there is no great damage done!

Lady Softbreath, you have convinced me now that I should always carry a supply of biscuits with me, wherever I go! You never know when they may come in useful!

Lady Catherine: never fear, my dear – this adventure will harden considerably before the explosive climax!

Toodle-pip!

- Lord Likely.

After your last visit to my home, I noted with no small measure of curiosity that my hand-maiden was not behaving quite up to par. Her demeanour changed drastically after your departure, and seeing as you are always so diligent in taking the help well in hand, I wondered if you might offer some advice. I believe that part of her issue is that she misses your biscuits. Perhaps on your next foray into my foyer, you might bring along an extra biscuit or two to keep her docile and in good order? I always find myself so well serviced while you are here, I see no reason that I should suffer after your departure because my maid is missing a biscuit.

As always, I wish you nothing but raging, swollen successes in your investigations, and I shall be most happy to receive you upon your return. I shall make every effort to indulge your need for company far more pleasing than that which you seem to be encountering in the course of this particular investigation. A pearl necklace is always worth the effort though, isn’t it my Lord.

Ever yours,
Lady Softbreath

Kikes?

Where’s the bloody sex? Roger somebody, please!

[Hmm, "Roger Anybody" sounds like a good name for an English detective, methinks]