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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    14 September 2008

    Interval: A Delightful Day of Death

    September, 1857.

    I think I may well attend this. Sounds like jolly good fun, I must say.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: We return you to our current adventure in progress, A Lesson in Murder!

    humor-blogs.com once killed a man. Well, we say ‘kill’. We mean ‘touched inappropriately about the bathing-suit area’.

    Hungry for more inter-net based fiction? Then may I suggest you peruse The Web Fiction Guide, Pages Unbound or The Blog Fiction Blog, all of which are thoroughly excellent, due in no small part to the fact that I am listed with them all. Huzzah!

    The Likely Empire – Further Reading for Disturbed Minds.

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    Comments

    13 incredible interjections thus far.

    Chris Wood

    I am most relieved to hear that the filthy brute of a sausage stealing 11 year old is to get his comeuppance.

    Butchers have a hard enough life as it is, grinding up peasants for pork pies and masturbating on the poultry to keep the skin soft. Thieving young turds like Master Turn have only themselves to blame.

    Perchance I will see his Lordship a-whooping in the crowd when the wretches dance?

    Chris Wood, September 14th, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Jeffman

    Hang them all. I fear I’ve never cast eyes on such a degenerate collection more deserving of the rope.

    I trust that if I can’t make it in person, his lordship will have a man at hand to record the whole event in woodcut, pastel, or brass rubbing.

    Jeffman, September 14th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Gorilla Bananas

    Perhaps His Lordship could mercifully thrust his cane into their anuses to distract them from their grim fate.

    Gorilla Bananas, September 14th, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Alex L

    I dont think I’ll be able to attend, which is a damned shame because I love a good hanging. Especially when its a horse fucker!

    Alex L, September 14th, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    nursemyra

    oh poor little oliver. surely he deserves another chance…..

    nursemyra, September 15th, 2008 at 1:33 am

    David

    It is quite the best thing to get that thieving Oliver off the streets.

    Sausage at 11, whole loaves of bread by 12, a pumpkin at 13 – Eventually this leads to stealing the Crown Jewels.

    Simply unacceptable and best dealt with early.

    David, September 15th, 2008 at 8:40 am

    Pseudonymph

    An occasion certainly worth hanging around town for.

    Pseudonymph, September 15th, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, my most admirable admirers!

    Mr. Wood, I shall not only be a-whooping, but I shall also be a-hollering and a-cheering and possibly even a-dancing.

    jeffman, I shall try, but I am not entirely sure that furious rubbing is entirely encouraged at such events, sir.

    Mr. Bananas, I would not dare to thrust my cane anywhere near such deviants. They may try to steal it, set fire to it or have sex with it, for all I know.

    Alex L, never fear, sir. With so many horses about, it is only a matter of time before another wretch decides to ride one again!

    Nurse Myra, you have such compassion and kindness welling up in your bosom. Maybe if I could maybe gently caress your chest, some of this compassion will rub off onto me, and I might yet be able to spare the unfortunate urchin. What do you say, m’dear?

    David, the thought of some grubby-fingered oik getting their mitts all over Her Majesty’s precious artifacts makes my blood boil with rage! Grrrrarrrggh!

    Pseudonym, I do hope you will be able to ‘swing’ by then, my dear!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, September 16th, 2008 at 9:34 am

    blaine_fridley

    it has been shared in good faith that Her Majesty has been sending decidedly unflatulent fellow to be hung for her own sphincteral emissions. i ask this of you, my lordship…how many innocent men must die before Her Flatulence, The Queen is taken to task?

    blaine_fridley, September 16th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Qelqoth

    Oliver deserved far worse retribution for his hideous crimes against humanity.

    Qelqoth, September 16th, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, chums!

    Mr. Friday, as a loyal subject of Her Majesty, I have always believe that the Queen’s emissions are from foul, and that the odour she may emit smells like meadows and rainbows.

    Qelqoth, Oliver’s fate seems to have somewhat divided my loyal readers, with some praying for his release, and others urging for his punishment. Who could have imagined that a sole sausage would split a nation thusly?

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, September 17th, 2008 at 6:11 am

    Random Chick

    What a wonderful way to spend the afternoon…and I must get one of those Tshirts that say, “I Positively Adore Hangings” because I do! I shall bring the children and we’ll have a picnic on the lawn.

    Very much looking forward to seeing you there!
    Toodle-pip!
    RC

    Random Chick, September 17th, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Lord Likely

    My dear Random Chick, I am glad you and your family hope to attend this most agreeable of functions. I believe that there will be a balloon artist about to entertain the little ones, who specialises in making wonderful little balloon executioners.

    A delight!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, September 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Speak Forth to the Lord

    Further Excellence...

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

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