23 February 2010
The Excellent Emporium of Wondrous Wares
IN THE course of my day, I can get dozens upon dozens of people coming up to me and loudly exclaiming, ‘Your Lordship, I desire your person upon me!’; a desire which is of course completely understandable, so incredibly handsome and delectable my form.
Naturally, I do try and honour all such requests, but there are only so many hours in the day, and even an incredibly virile fellow such as myself cannot possibly meet such a tremendous demand!
This very problem did give me pause for thought, however….how COULD I possibly fulfil the needs of a hugely enamoured populace, and ensure that I could be upon everyone?
Then it struck me like one might strike one’s man-servant – I could put my delectable self on a variety of glorious goods, and thus sate everyone’s desire to have me upon their person! I know, a truly genius notion, I’m sure you’ll agree!
And so, with such a fantastic idea floating about my noble noggin, I got to work, and opened a large factory in town, and filled it with grimy, underpaid orphans to manufacture said goods. And thus Likely Industries was born, and the first of my marvellous merchandise rolled off of the production line! Huzzah!
And what wondrous wares there are to behold! Terrific t-shaped shirts, brilliant pin-badges, magnificent mugs and much more besides, all bearing my ravishing features!
Items such as this SPECTACULAR shirt:
Or this magnificent mug:
But listen to me, chattering away! I am sure you are QUITE keen to go forth and shop until thou dost drop, and so without further ado I present to you:
Lord Likely’s Excellent Emporium of Wondrous Wares (for members of the British Empire)
Lord Likely’s Excellent Emporium of Wondrous Wares (for those in the colonies).
Do please feel free to browse – and do also feel free to touch and caress as much as you wish! Huzzah!
Toodle-pip!
- Lord Likely.
