IF YOU’RE wondering why there has been a lack of updates to my thrilling tales of late, then blame it on the above periodical, a children’s comic currently playing host to my scribe’s wretched doodles, thus keeping him from his duties on my Astonishing Adventures! Gah!

The aptly-named Dandy – apparently Britain’s longest-running child’s comic – is running a comic-strip entitled ‘George vs Dragon’, written and drawn by my wordsmith, Mr. A.D Fanton, esquire. He claims such work keeps him very busy, and his obligations to my journals have fallen behind, as he focuses on a job that apparently pays him. PAYS HIM? Whatever next? Truly, the mind doth boggle at the thought that ANYONE should find his daubings worthy of remuneration!

Anyway, I was all set to thrash the fetid effluence from Mr. Fanton’s bony body in light of his shockingly lax attitude, when he offered to draw me into one of these strips, thus preserving my handsomeness in printed form for all eternity! Naturally, I loved the idea, and spared him a full beating, choosing instead to merely twat him about the skull with a polo mallet.

Once he’d recovered, he kept true to his word and inked my dashing likeness into an episode of George vs Dragon. BEHOLD THE WONDER BELOW!

Yes, there I am, purchasing a fine-looking horse (replete with luxurious moustache) from a horse market. I concur that it is a fleeting appearance, but even in such a small cameo, I cannot help but think that I steal the entire show from under the main character’s stupid, over-sized noses. HUZZAH FOR ME!

You can see my noble self in this week’s issue of The Dandy (issue number 3513, pictured at the top of this entry) on sale now for a mere one pound and fifty of our English pence – a bargain for such a piece of historical cartoonery, I am sure you shall agree!

There is another cameo from my noble self coming soon, so do keep your eyes peeled for that! I shall not rest until they have renamed the publication ‘The Dandy Lord Likely’, confound it!

Finally, you may as well peruse my scribe’s woeful web-log, for any further news about his burgeoning, so-called ‘cartooning career’. And rest assured, he SHALL be returning to his scribing duties for me very soon, lest he wishes to receive further drubbings.

Toodle-pip!

- Lord Likely.

NEW! You can now receive The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely straight to your Kindle book-reading device! SUBSCRIBE TO-DAY! Or possibly tomorrow. JUST SUBSCRIBE, dammit!

Good day, all!

Apologies for the tardiness in updating my fantastic journals this week, but after I completed my two-hundredth entry last week, I celebrated long and hard, and hard and long. Indeed, the hangover only vanished two hours ago, when I found myself naked in a field, getting my face licked by a dirty, old cow.

But that is quite enough about Baroness Mirkin.

Thus, as I am still in a rather hazy state and barely able to string two syllables together, I have decided to publish another of my Incredible Illustrated Indiscretionsthis week in place of an Astonishing Adventure. While the following strip cartoon may be light on words, I do believe you shall find it no lighter in sheer excellence, for everything I touch turns to gold!

Which should make my penis very valuable indeed.

Now: on with the merriment!

Toodle-pip!

- Lord Likely.

Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Something wondrous, I do not doubt.

Hungry for more inter-net based fiction? Then may I suggest you peruse The Web Fiction Guide, Pages Unbound or The Blog Fiction Blog, all of which are thoroughly excellent, due in no small part to the fact that I am listed with them all. Huzzah!

Good day, readers!

It is time once again for me to appease those readers who do not care much for actual reading, by providing you all with another of my Incredible Illustrated Interjections!

Today’s picture-story is based on another incredible, real-life incident that befell your noble host, rendered in easy-to-follow picture-boxes for the poorly educated and the weak of brain.

I trust you will enjoy it!

BEHOLD:

Cocking marvellous, yes?

If you missed my previous picture-post, please do the decent thing and click here, for Heaven’s sake!

Toodle-pip!

- Lord Likely.

Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: The commencement of a brand-new, full-length adventure serial! HUZZAH!

humor-blogs.com has magnificent balls.

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The term ‘Renaissance Man’ is bandied about far too readily these days, usually in reference to my wondrous, multi-skilled self.

I do not care too much for this label, as it seems to suggest that one is five hundred years out of date, Italian, and dead. I much prefer the terms ‘incredibly gifted’, ‘wildly talented’ and ‘fucking excellent’.

Having already mastered prose, poetry and the moving picture, to-day I add another string to my already overloaded creative bow, by debuting a brand new feature to these jizz-inducing journals; namely The Incredible Illustrated Indiscretions of Lord Likely.

These carefully constructed picture-strips are designed for those who wish to enjoy the astonishing adventures of my noble self, but for whom the reading swathes of (incredibly well-written) prose is far too much of a chore, as well as neatly catering for those who are criminally stupid, or stubbornly illiterate.

So, without further ado, I present to you the first Incredible Illustrated Indiscretion of Lord Likely – red-hot intercourse for the eyeballs!

- Lord Likely.

humor-blogs.com never wears trousers, but luckily its genitals are far to small to cause offence.

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My man-servant, Botter, bought me the morning’s news-papers today, as he does every day lest he wishes to receive a swift boot to the backside. Today, however, I rather wished he had not bothered, for a quick flick through the day’s copy of The London Early Morning News Stories and Illustrated Plates was filled with nothing but depression; trouble with the natives in India, crime on the streets of our great nation’s capital, disease rife among the filthy working-classes, and so on and so ruddy on.

Is it too much to ask that I can enjoy my breakfast of grilled salmon, caviar and champagne without having the woes of those less fortunate than myself thrust in my face? Indeed, I was so enraged by the morning’s news that I hurled the paper at Botter, causing him to receive many nasty paper-cuts to the face and eyeballs, which cheered me up somewhat.

Happily, there is always one part of the news-paper that never fails to fill me with joy, and that is the section containing all the marvellous strip-cartoons. They really do publish some jolly fine comics there, including such spectacular strips as Ala Kazam, The Magical Muslim; Ethel Ethereal, The Little Dead Girl and my current favourite, The Humourous Japery of Reginald Whiskers.

The latter comic-strip, about a most amusing sarcastic cat, is never less than smirksome, and today’s was thankfully no exception, which brightened up my day quite considerably.

I have included the comic in question with this entry, so that others may enjoy the comical cartoon cat. Enjoy!

Those of you who have not masturbated so regularly so as to diminish your eye-sight completely, will have noticed that there have been a few aesthetic changes around here, as well as the introduction of an astonishing new About Page. Please do take a moment to admire the fresh decor, and do let us know what you think. As long as your thoughts are firmly in the positive, that is.

Mr. Diesel, long time supporter of his lordship and the chap behind Mattress Police and humor-blogs.com (where his lordship currently resides at an incredibly sexual 69th place), has launched a new offensive upon the world of comedy, called The Clay Pigeon, chock-full of amusing articles and witty writings. Although nowhere near as hilarious as his lordship’s own scrawlings (naturally), we still encourage you to visit the Pigeon by clicking the image below!

Next time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: something else astonishing, no doubt.

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